We all have expectations in relationships don’t we? We expect the other person to be a certain way. Likewise, they expect us to be a certain way. There are some basic and universal expectations in relationships. Let’s note a few of the obvious examples: 1. Being an active member within the relationship – engaging in conversation, duties, plans. 2. Being a friend to one another – considerate,
kind, interesting, interested (after all, what caused you to be interested in the first place?) and 3. And there’s the expectation that one will take ownership of their responsibility to be reciprocal and enact the courage to commit. These are some ‘relatonship-universals.’ In addition to all this, there are a million or a billion tiny little unique expectations that you have and that the other person has – which, by the way very often go unspoken. It’s these pesky little ‘un-spokens’ that kick our little un-expecting relationship tails most days and for most lifetimes.
Today, let’s consider how we might take ownership of our (let’s focus on us as we can’t control what the other person does) responsibility to be reciprocal in our relationships, whether those relationships be with our spouse or a friend. And,
let’s reach way deep down and find the courage to
commit!
A few weeks ago, I had the flu. Once I recovered my husband got the flu. And, since I am only home on some weekends due to living in Columbia, SC working at the VA, my time home and with my family enjoying one another is limited. On this particular Sunday, I did not feel like doing much except getting in my car and
driving back, ensuring that I’d get to SC before it got too dark and before I got too tired. I was already tired from having had the flu. However, you notice that my husband now had the flu. I knew that I would appreciate him helping me prepare for the week if the tables were turned. He’s basically a single parent during the week, doing the work of two people, emotionally, physically, and
spiritually within the home. So, I dug down deep to the Holy Spirit within me and asked that He do in and through me what I didn’t “feel” like doing. An amazing thing happened, through this process of seeking God for strength when I had none, I was awarded with some passionate energy to be reciprocally responsible and I had the courage to commit to the duties and tasks that God was
nudging me within my heart to do. As a result, we both experienced increased feelings of thankfulness, increased intimacy, and we were reminded of the essence of a true, deep friendship. And I tell you this not because I’m so amazing. No way! Earlier, I mentioned that if I had been left to my own demise, I would have selfishly just driven back – looking out for number one in the moment rather than considering us in the long-run. Also, my husband does the
same type of sacrificial things for me and our two teenagers a million times over. I am just reminded of the power we all have within us to foster and facilitate beauty in our relationships.
A friend loves at all times…
Proverbs 17:17
I close with a beautiful statement that someone who was suffering
extensively told me that her mother always used to say to her growing up: “Love is what love does.”
Words are futile when they are not followed by actions that say,
“I am taking ownership of my responsibility to be reciprocal in this
relationship and I claim and I enact my courage to commit to you and to us.”
kind, interesting, interested (after all, what caused you to be interested in the first place?) and 3. And there’s the expectation that one will take ownership of their responsibility to be reciprocal and enact the courage to commit. These are some ‘relatonship-universals.’ In addition to all this, there are a million or a billion tiny little unique expectations that you have and that the other person has – which, by the way very often go unspoken. It’s these pesky little ‘un-spokens’ that kick our little un-expecting relationship tails most days and for most lifetimes.
Today, let’s consider how we might take ownership of our (let’s focus on us as we can’t control what the other person does) responsibility to be reciprocal in our relationships, whether those relationships be with our spouse or a friend. And,
let’s reach way deep down and find the courage to
commit!
A few weeks ago, I had the flu. Once I recovered my husband got the flu. And, since I am only home on some weekends due to living in Columbia, SC working at the VA, my time home and with my family enjoying one another is limited. On this particular Sunday, I did not feel like doing much except getting in my car and
driving back, ensuring that I’d get to SC before it got too dark and before I got too tired. I was already tired from having had the flu. However, you notice that my husband now had the flu. I knew that I would appreciate him helping me prepare for the week if the tables were turned. He’s basically a single parent during the week, doing the work of two people, emotionally, physically, and
spiritually within the home. So, I dug down deep to the Holy Spirit within me and asked that He do in and through me what I didn’t “feel” like doing. An amazing thing happened, through this process of seeking God for strength when I had none, I was awarded with some passionate energy to be reciprocally responsible and I had the courage to commit to the duties and tasks that God was
nudging me within my heart to do. As a result, we both experienced increased feelings of thankfulness, increased intimacy, and we were reminded of the essence of a true, deep friendship. And I tell you this not because I’m so amazing. No way! Earlier, I mentioned that if I had been left to my own demise, I would have selfishly just driven back – looking out for number one in the moment rather than considering us in the long-run. Also, my husband does the
same type of sacrificial things for me and our two teenagers a million times over. I am just reminded of the power we all have within us to foster and facilitate beauty in our relationships.
A friend loves at all times…
Proverbs 17:17
I close with a beautiful statement that someone who was suffering
extensively told me that her mother always used to say to her growing up: “Love is what love does.”
Words are futile when they are not followed by actions that say,
“I am taking ownership of my responsibility to be reciprocal in this
relationship and I claim and I enact my courage to commit to you and to us.”